making some tough decisions.

sometimes, i feel evil.  much like this little girl has been telling me what to do, or inspiring me.

 

but then i realize maybe i'm over-reacting.  maybe i'm being over-dramatic.

 

this is why i've been so MIA.  i've reached a crossroads.  a touch decision...

the thing with that guy?  still going well.  i'm sure i'll have more stories to come... my apologies to those of you who were faithfully checking this page when it was more active.  but ladies and gents... c'mooooon.  i live in new york city!  land of eating out, museums, and THIS GUY!

i'll be back.  oh yes.  i'll be back...

you are easily amused.

i try to tell guys... that girl you're seeing?  with the fake eyebrows and crazy makeup?  she won't look that pretty in the morning.  but they never listen.  i try to tell them they are in for a nasty surprise.  a NASTY surprise.

and still they don't listen.  men can be such pigs.

or perhaps they're just oblivious nerds.

or perhaps they're just easily amused.

one this is for sure... most of them don't like a challenge.  many of them are downright lazy.

but i am seeing someone now.  i have not given up hope.  wish me luck.  if my luck continues to be bad, one of two things will happen... i'll either turn into a banshee:

or a rebel granny:

cross your fingers for me...

great news!

i found a new boyfriend!  he's super dreamy and takes me to do all the things i like to do.  

lesson to guys: stop it.  this is never a good idea.  ever.

bonus #2.

you will either find this hilarious or take it as proof that i need professional help.  i laughed so hard, i almost hurt myself: check it out

bonus.

why do we do this to ourselves?

sometimes i get frustrated, and start thinking EVERY guy is an ass.

 

ooooor maybe they're just all idiots.

then i get sad and overeat.

then i feel guilty and overexercise.

sometimes i think maybe i should get plastic surgery.

then i think... maybe i should pay attention to the signs around me.

and then i realize i'd be better off phoning a friend when i feel this way.

and maybe hanging this sign on my door as an added precaution.  i also plan to make myself one of these.  soon.

i don't know whether to punch him or me.

chitty chitty bang bang struck again today.  somehow i keep ending up trapped in a vehicle with this doofus.  and i STILL do not know how to tuck and roll, which would have come in handy since i was the passenger for once.  scanning through radio stations, my annoying friend stopped on that deep and cerebral song that includes the line: "apple bottom jeans"... which he started singing along to.  this was a painful experience alone, but then he decided to add frosting to the cupcake.  he dedicated the song.  to me.  he was lucky i didn't defenestrate him.  or do this.  i let that one slide, mostly because i was still half asleep.  besides, one hand was occupied with an enormous cup of coffee.  but later in the day, he slipped again.  this time, it was unforgivable.  my keys were making a jingling noise, and he compared me to a cow.  with a bell.  no woman in the history of women wants to be compared or even lumped in the same category as this.  or even this, for that matter.

lesson for guys: if i really have to tell you, you should probably move into a cave.  ready, set, go.