one of my coworkers (who i'll call "chatty chatty bang bang" going forward) talks too much. he talks whether you respond or not. about any topic that pops into his head. there are no segue, no continuity, no moral, no beginning, middle, or end. it's like hemingway meets joan rivers meets a drunk hobo. i managed to tune out most of what he'd said one morning, but when he started talking about the topic of new apartments, i started to half listen. i am looking for another apartment myself. then he mentioned he was going to be getting two roommates. then he started describing them in detail. apparently one of them used to be thin, but had put on a lot of weight. however, according to chatty chatty bang bang, the newly chubby roommate still wore his skinny clothes. my thoughtful roommate proceeded to describe details about the roommate's figure so that i could picture its glory for myself. he started by saying: "he's even got man boobs. they're kind of big. they're like... between yours and (insert female coworker's name here)".
yikes. i had to resist the urge to pull over, push him out, and proceed. i decided that was probably against company policy, and once again found myself mourning the fact that i haven't mastered the tuck and roll.
guys: don't describe man boobs to a girl. none of us want to picture that. we also don't want you to openly acknowledge you've been ranking the tot size of your female coworkers. yikes.
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