heavy breathing does not turn me on.

oh, dear.  it seems some of you gentleman have been misinformed.  despite what other "dude" friends or possible pornos have told you, hearing the sound of you breathing heavily (borderline panting) behind me, does not... EVER... turns girls on.  while walking home today, i had headphones on, as always.  and more than likely, they were louder than they needed to be.  AND YET!  i still  heard the hombre walking a little too closely behind me.  mind you, i was walking from the gym, so i was a sweaty, gnarly mess.  and there's noooo excuse on this earth for the look i saw in his eyes.  when i heard "pssst pssst" "psst pssst" sandwiched by heavy, raspy breathing in between, i turned around to see a skinny little man staring intently at my caboose, i'm pretty sure i made a face like this:

you: creepy little youngish man.  you: no excuse for heaving and breathing while walking entirely too close for comfort.  it makes me think you need one of these:

it makes me picture you looking a whole lot more like this:

than like one of these (i included a variety, i have no idea what floats your boat):

lesson for guys: stop walking too close.  if i can feel you behind me without turning around?  you are TOO CLOSE.  stop breathing so heavily while you are walking behind me that i can hear you over my hot polka jams of the 60s and 70s, you are breathing TOO HEAVILY.  unless of course, you ARE asthmatic, weight over seven hundo, or have just finished the boston marathon.  in any or all of these cases, i will give you a free pass.  but only for the breathing part, you still can not walk too closely.  that's just annoying.